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Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey review – royalty-free horror

At the freezing midnight, December 31, 2021, Winnie-the-Pooh by AA Milne is out of copyright and, like a child demon from an open grave, a disturbing bad idea has flown into the world: a terrifying version of A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh. Well, here it is, which promises to do for British horror what Sex Lives of the Potato Men did for British comedies, with a terrifying mix of not-so-creepy and unfunny, and a cast The Love Island actor on Xanax is clearly reading dialogue on an ophthalmologist’s board held behind the camera.

What you really need to see is not the movie, but the encounter – or rather, the encounter before the encounter. The hidden camera should have been installed in a members’ club in central London, where no one worried about two people going to the toilet at the same time. A lightbulb pops on someone’s grimace and they stammer to announce the idea of ​​a fascinating disconnected topic/treatment: Winnie the Pooh (cute entertainment for kids). ) plus horror (extremely violent and hilarious).But the OMFG factor is too high for the wrong reasons.

The resulting film incidentally shows no interest in the actual Winnie-the-Pooh documentary. There’s nothing here to suggest that, like many children’s stories, they have anything to worry about. Or perhaps AA Milne’s post-World War I PTSD—a complicating determinant of his famous work—is really about the horror experience. But look, if the people in this movie aren’t interested in Winnie-the-Pooh, I don’t blame them either.I’ve always found the supposedly adorable bear incredibly stupid and annoying. But why do that?

A complicated backstory claims that Hundred Acre Wood’s creatures depend on the visits of the young Christopher Robin, both for food and for the boy’s love for them. But then he grew up and left, and that betrayal turned them all into bitter, savage cannibals who actually ate Eeyore, which I guess did. caused him many unhappiness. (It’s a fun idea but, like everything else, dies in manual execution.) Some time later, a young woman named Maria (Maria Taylor) is recovering from a horrifying incident with a stalker, rents a house in the woods with half a dozen friends for the weekend, and meets assassin . Pooh and Piglet.

The terrible truth is that this is a generic side story horror scenario: Pooh and Piglet can also be scary guys wearing masks Pooh and Piglet menacing young women in revealing clothes. There’s even a gas station (or rather, “gasoline”) in the woods, which the owner cryptically speaks with a mountain American accent. And for the ultimate insult – those worried about revealing and sexist details better look away for now – there’s not even a Last Girl bonus. Put arsenic in this honey and start eating.

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